21

They say when you’re 21 it’s the best time of your life. You party hard and drink as much as You want. But for me I never really celebrated my 21st birthday. I didn’t have a huge celebration because I chose not to have one. On my 21st birthday I went out and ate with my friends who has been with my for so long. But I felt sad. I felt sad during my birthday because it’s nothing I expected. Whenever it’s my birthday I don’t want to do anything about it since there are times where it was bad. And it makes me remember about my 16th birthday, where I thought I would be hanging out with my friends, but I ended up sad because no one showed up. In all honesty I’m afraid to celebrate my birthday because I don’t want to remember the worst of it.

Life update

So far I turned 21 but didn’t celebrate my birthday as much. My relationship is kind of rocky because we are distancing ourselves. Been feeling out of place because there are times where I just have flash back of things that happened in 2016. I’m not going to be able to transfer next year because I’ll be doing my own thing. I won’t say what I’m going to do, but I know I’m going to be stress out about it.

Currently it’s 1:16 AM

I just want to get this off my chest…
A year and a half has been a whirlpool of trust. My current boyfriend and I had our ups and downs through the beginning until realizing I had to choose between changing who I was before to who I can be now. I’ve let go of my old self who was just scared to love someone because of my first relationship. I know I’ve hurt only one guy in my life, but I wasn’t sure if he would be the one. I wasn’t sure how life would be like with him. In the end I had to give up to start a change in my life for the better. I’m very happy where I’m at, but I still have that feeling of my old self.
Currently in the mood of just expressing my feelings because no one else would know.
I just feel stuck and not knowing what to do with these thoughts in my head.

kushandwizdom:

- Unknown